Identity Part 3: Why Work is Challenging
How work just makes the journey of self-discovery so much harder.
There are two spaces in life that are really hard to be in – church and work. And the latter is particularly hard on the soul of a person trying to figure out who they are.
Church can be hard (initially) because you may find yourself amongst people who are nothing like you, except for the fact that they have accepted Jesus. While that belief makes Christians brothers and sisters in God’s family, without strong theological and doctrinal congruence, church can be a really challenging place for some people.
Work presents a similar challenge but lacks the commonality in God to pull you together. Just think about your first day at work in any new job and how your stomach felt on the day!
I’ve been thinking about this post for some time because it was difficult to put into words why the workplace is so hard on the journey towards identity. It’s finally distilled into two elements for me: work gearing and conflict management.
Summary: why this is important
Reflecting back on the last post and summarising the below, the way we think, feel, and act is heavily influenced by our personalities and how we are wired for work. These are things the brain has automated into defaults in order to make sense of the world and help us move faster through it.
Because so much of our thought consists of unconscious thoughts, it’s like going down a rabbit hole to figure out what is happening beneath the conscious mind.
The previous post and the below are primers for those who want to decide whether to go deeper on these topics.
Clip time: 4 minutes
Work Gearing
Work gearing is different from personality and refers to how you are wired for work. The models take some time to learn, and I don’t want to delve too much into the methodology here. The work of Patrick Lencioni on working genius and Les McKeown on the Predictable Success model will provide more detail.
The point I want to highlight is that there are four types of work gearing, and three of them gridlock each other. The types are: visionaries, operators, processors, and synergists, with people being combinations of those types in various ways.
The first three often gridlock each other in meetings, project plans, and work execution because they think differently (and people assume everyone thinks the way they do).
Visionaries want to start something or solve something.
Operators want to check things off a checklist and fix things that are broken.
Processors want to systematise and supervise.
Synergists are diplomats who apply skills like delegation, conflict management, and time management to help the other three work together.
I’m going to pause there and come back to gearing.
The CIBART model
CIBART stands for Conflict, Identity, Boundaries, Authority, Roles, and Tasks. Again, I don’t want to go into the methodology in detail, but when organisations change the BART areas, it causes conflict and makes people question their identity and how they fit in with their colleagues. (How come they have authority, and I don’t? How come they were chosen for that task?)
This leads to reflection on areas like behaviour, culture, and leadership, all of which raise questions for employees about where the company is going and what part they will play in it. Let me pause there.
Returning to work gearing: if people don’t know their work gearing, and there is conflict in the workplace due to challenges with Boundaries, Authority, Roles, and Tasks, it leads to a lot of uncertainty and discomfort. This often results in restructures, particularly when cash flow is tight.
What makes this even harder is that organisations are generally controlled based on org charts and the agendas of the leaders, but the work being done on the ground usually has little to do with what’s in your job description or where you fit into an organisation. Rather, the work is defined by the relationships between employees and what is said around the water cooler.
Which is why knowing ourselves and getting to know colleagues at work is so important.
Bringing this back to identity
OK, so that’s a lot to process, and it’s hard to answer the question, “What do I do with this, and how do I contextualise it in terms of learning more about my identity?”
The first step is to realise that, from a work gearing perspective, the gears you are strong in give you energy, while the gears you are weak in steal energy from you.
This is one of the principal reasons why people are miserable at work – they are doing things they are not good at, which drain their energy.
Figuring out work gearing will help you see how you’re more likely to thrive at work (and what will drain you). Doing work gearing analysis with your colleagues will help you understand each other and begin to work differently, gaining momentum and resolving conflict.
Lastly, one of the main causes of conflict in the workplace is the general lack of trust between colleagues. It’s really hard for Boundaries, Authority, Roles, and Tasks not to generate conflict when there is a lack of trust. And it’s actually easier to build trust with someone who knows themselves really well.
Therefore, figuring out our own personalities and work gearing goes a long way in shaping how we relate to others at work.
Clip time: 40 minutes
Dr Henry Cloud describes trust as being made up of the following elements:
Understanding: Truly listening to and understanding another person's perspective, needs, and feelings.
Motive: Trust is built on the belief that someone's intentions are pure and aligned with your best interests.
Ability: A person must have the skills and capacity to deliver on what they promise.
Character: Trust is rooted in a person's moral integrity, honesty, and reliability.
Track Record: Past actions and behaviours are a strong indicator of future trustworthiness.
Building trust happens in several ways at work, including:
One-on-ones with your boss or team lead that focus on your wellbeing.
360-degree visibility into each other’s work through tools and focused meetings like stand-ups.
Working with others to reduce unnecessary processes in a business or on innovation projects that create excitement and hope for the future.
The ingredients for self-awareness
As the last post and this one have shown, getting to know yourself is really hard work! And there are a lot of things needed. Cloud says there are 10 elements required to facilitate personal growth. They are:
Admission that help is needed
Involvement in a change process
A structured approach
Skilled help along the way
Seeking new experiences and developing new skills
Self-sustaining motivation to grow
Presence of support
Evidence of change
Monitoring progress
Transparency and the willingness to be questioned
I the next post, we’ll look at coming to grips with soft skills and strengths.
Previous series posts:
Identity Part 3 – Why work is challenging Work Gearing and conflict at work
Identity Part 2 – Knowing Ourselves Personality and Family of Origin
Identity Part 1 - An Intro to Identity How to get out of default behaviours